Why Adoption?

When Rob and I began our whole adoption journey back in 2005, I must confess that our motivations were not much more than the simple desire to have a child. However, as we have followed God's leadership and been willing to walk through the doors that He Himself has opened to us, our minds have been changed, our hearts have been expanded, and our lives have been sanctified.

Griffen was born in February, 2006. By October, we were driving to the courthouse in Valparaiso, IN to legally finalize his adoption. In our excitement, we paid little attention to the formal court hearing. After all, we were captivated by the cutest little blonde haired baby who had stolen our hearts and had changed our lives completely. When the papers were signed and stamped, we said our good-bye's and got in our car to begin the 2 hour drive back home. As we drove, I browsed through the paperwork and began reading portions out loud to Rob. While there were pages full of legal jargon, I finally came to one paragraph which read, "The court hereby declares that Griffen Anthony Fuller is now the legal son of Robert and Heidi Fuller and is thereby privileged to all the rights and benefits, just as if he were their natural born son." By this point tears were streaming down both our faces as we pulled our car over to the side of the road. And while we were undoubtedly ecstatic that the legal process was behind us, that was not what had spurred our emotions. Rather, Rob looked at me and said, "That's what God did for us." Those were my sentiments exactly. In that moment, we experienced firsthand what God had done for us in salvation. The similarities were astounding -

1. Our love for Griffen existed even before his birth. God loved us before we were even born.
     "[God] loved me before the foundation of the world."  (John 17:24)

2. We chose to bring Griffen into our family before he ever expressed his love to us. God chose us before we ever could have earned his favor.
     "He chose us in him before the foundation of the world."  (Ephesians 1:4)

3. We chose to make personal sacrifices to adopt Griffen. In spite of our sinfulness, God chose to sacrifice for us.
     "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  (Romans 5:8)

4. Adoption can be an expensive, long, and stressful process. God paid a great price to buy our adoption into His family.
     "You were bought with a price."  (I Corinthians 6:20)

5. Adoption made Griffen equal to any biological offspring. Spiritual adoption makes us equal heirs with Jesus Christ, God's Son.
     "We are children of God...and fellow heirs with Christ."  (Romans 8:16-17)

I sometimes fear that misconceptions about adoption can lead to misconceptions about salvation. Some of these include - that you can't possibly bond as closely with an adopted child as with an biological child; or that the love of an adoptive parent could never be as strong as the biological parent; or that blood is thicker than water. I am sure that Rob and I had many of these errant thoughts before we adopted, as well. What a blessing it has been to get a more vivid picture of God's great love toward us! With each additional adoption, it seems that God has enlightened us to new and distinct truths about Himself.
    
On numerous occasions I have caught myself looking at one of my boys and just basking in the thought that God used me to rescue them from a bad situation and change the course of their life for good. On top of the lessons they have taught me about salvation, you cannot begin to imagine the joy that has come from being a direct tool for God in their lives. "For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work, at the works of your hands I sing for joy."  (Psalm 92:4)

Over the years, God has moved our hearts from a place that merely desires more children to a place that truly desires to be used by Him. In all honesty, we thought our family was complete after Rhys was born. It wasn't until God worked miraculously in providing the necessary funds for a third adoption that we even considered traveling that road again. At that point, we had to make a real decision as to where we wanted our treasure to lie. All throughout Scripture we read that God has a special place in His heart for orphans and widows. We want to love what He loves. Beyond that, we have been reminded over the years that God desires to see our faith in action. James 1:27 reminds us that "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." Upon further study, you will realize that "visit" means to play an active role in the life of the helpless. While God may not call everyone to adopt, He most definitely wants us all to actively minister to the helpless.

I really do not mean for adoption to be my "soap box" issue in life. God works differently in the life of each believer. Rob and I simply desire to testify to the truths that God has taught us along our journey. We are eternally grateful for the 5 children that God has now allowed us to adopt and cannot wait to see how God will work in their lives throughout the future. 

30 weeks

Finally having reached 30 weeks, I am beginning to feel like the end is in sight. Only 4 more weeks to go!!! There isn't much new information to report. The babies are STILL doing great. I had sonogram #23 this morning and each babies' fluid levels, breathing, and movements were normal. They are growing like weeds. My husband and kids even comment from day to day that I'm looking bigger. Boy, I am feeling it, too! Hard to believe my stomach can get any bigger. As of Sunday, I had already gained 60 pounds!!!

God continues to help me pass my days without too much boredom. Rob brought a 6 foot table into my room and we have now done about 6 different puzzles. I also pass the time reading, going through our personal mail, paying bills, spending quiet time with God, working on the church music cataloging project, and chatting with visitors. To date, I have had 108 visitors! Some of these have come in groups or multiple times, but that is still a LOT of people. And that does not include the visits from Rob and our sons who try and come see me 4-5 times each week. Most nights they come and take me for a short "walk" outside or around the hospital. These are a definite highlight of my day. On top of all this activity, the doctors and nurses are in and out of my room many times each day. I have had good conversations with several of them and really appreciate all they do for me.

One kind church friend came by this week and tried to teach me to crochet. She brought a book, yarn, and a crochet needle (or whatever it's called), and told me to start with square wash cloths. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, after about 2 hours, I had created the masterpiece seen in the picture below. This endeavor has definitely provided MUCH comic relief this week. (I have started a second one, which is a significant improvement.)

                   

29 weeks

Today officially marks 29 weeks! Praise the Lord! My MFM doctor stated on Monday that he believes that this bed rest has really allowed me to make it this far. Of course, I would also add that prayer has certainly been a large factor, too. Not much has changed this week. The babies are still doing great. They passed both sonograms this week with flying colors. At one sono, Drake had his bottom in Taerik's face and today he was stepping on his head. All this was going on, while Keira just posed for pictures. They sure do look like they're getting crowded in there. My blood pressure and labs have all been good and we're learning how to manage the gestational diabetes. I also had to get a TDAP shot this week, especially because of the whooping cough outbreak this year, and Rob is encouraged to do the same.

I continue to be encouraged by the kindness and prayers of others. So many people have expressed their support and love in a variety of ways! After totally outgrowing my maternity clothes, I had resorted to wearing Rob's t-shirts. However, one kind friend bought and delivered several new XL maternity shirts on Wednesday evening. (Yes, XL maternity - don't judge.) Two others came and decorated my room for spring. Others have brought fruit, books, and preemie size sleepers.  "Taste and see that the LORD is good" (Psalm 34:8).

Milestone #2 - 28 weeks!!!

Today marks milestone #2. We have finally made it to 28 weeks! At this gestation, nearly all newborns survive outside the womb (with help from the ICU). Praise the Lord for this new victory!

Yesterday marked yet another growth sonogram. Most of the sono's that I get are just bio-physical profiles, which only measure movement, fluid levels, and practice breathing. However, about every 4 weeks the babies are measured for their size and growth. Their most recent statistics are -

Keira - 2 pounds, 12 ounces
Drake - 2 pounds, 13 ounces
Taerik - 2 pounds, 15 ounces

That's 8.5 pounds of baby so far! Each one measured about one week ahead of it's gestation. We are grateful for their continued growth and progress!

In This Week's News.....

Each Sunday, my MFM doctor reviews my charts and comes and meets with me in my hospital room. Every week, changes are made based on my statistics. After discovering Drake's heart arrhythmia, he recommended 4 sonograms each week, plus the regular lab work and other daily monitoring. However, after ruling out all the major causes for this abnormality, he has now moved me back to sonograms twice weekly. I was also given permission this last week to walk short distances in my wing of the hospital. I can now walk on my own to the lobby, the craft room, and the mail drop box. Even better, I was given a pass which allows Rob to take me in a wheelchair for a 30 minute "walk" either outside or around the hospital. This is a HUGE treat!

As was expected, my blood pressure has continued to slowly creep upwards. As of today, my meds are triple what I was taking originally. The danger zone in which delivery will be considered imminent is 160/105. So far I have not exceeded the 143 mark. This is monitored 6 times each day and meds can be increased as needed. While the doctors had been talking about still trying to get me to the 36 week mark, on Sunday it was confirmed that I will not be allowed to go past 34 weeks (assuming I can make it that far). The 34 week mark is May 1.

While I had already taken a blood glucose test in earlier pregnancy, the doctors ordered a second one on Monday morning. Well, I failed it. To confirm a diagnosis, a 3 hour glucose test was ordered for this morning. I failed that one, too. They needed my blood-sugar level to be under 140, but mine had spiked up to 177. So, as of today, I have now officially been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I can't say that anyone was surprised. I was told early on in this pregnancy that with three babies I would be at risk for absolutely everything. It is very hard for the body to keep up with the demands of three babies needs. As with preeclampsia, gestational diabetes is expected to go away upon delivery. At this point, it seems I will need to follow a strict diet, take blood tests four times each day, and begin taking yet another medication. If things get worse, I will also require insulin shots.

Despite this week's setbacks, I still have much to be thankful for. And, since I am commanded to give thanks in everything (I Thess. 5:18), that is what I will do. Last weeks blessings include:

1. I got to eat the first half of my box of chocolate Swiss Rolls before my "Happy Stash"  was considered off limits.
2. Three 30 minute wheelchair rides outside this past week.
3. A memory foam mattress on top of my hospital bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Two home cooked meals that my family got to eat together in the 4th floor lobby.
5. A large ministry project that makes me feel useful. (Rob wants the church music library cataloged and set up a way for me to do it from the hospital.)
 

So Much More

One thing I have determined to do for each of my children is to write and record a song for each of them. Back when Griffen was born, God had so impressed on my heart the words of Psalm 139:16  - "in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me." I was amazed to think that somehow God had protected this perfect little baby and led him to our home. He had rescued him from a bad situation and created a good plan for each day of his life. Based on these lessons, I wrote Griffen a song entitled You Numbered All My Days.

When Rhys was born, our journey to a finalized adoption was quite different. While we were able to take him home directly from the hospital, we soon found ourselves dealing with a corrupt adoption agency. Mere weeks after Rhys' birth, they were closed down by the FBI for fraud. With the CEO in prison and the employees all dispersed, this agency, who took our $29,000, closed down without giving us any of our needed paperwork. We entered a year-long ordeal in which we had to acquire additional help to legally complete his adoption. In the end, his adoption into our family cost around $33,000. This was the first loan we had ever taken out in our lives (aside from our mortgage). His adoption cost MUCH. Much stress, much time, and much money. As I contemplated all of that, I was reminded of Paul's worlds in I Corinthians  6:20 - "For you were bought with a price." Christ paid MUCH more for me than anything we ever paid for Rhys. And why? It was all because of love. We often say that while Rhys may have been expensive, he is priceless! The song I wrote for Rhys is entitled, The Price He Paid For Me. (I should also add that God provided for all our expenses within about 6 weeks of Rhys' birth.)

Back in the summer of 2011, God once again pricked our hearts regarding adoption. We had received a check from the government for $20,000 in back dated adoption credits. We had been making double mortgage payments for almost 4 years already and so we had many projects that were on hold. When the money arrived, we were overjoyed to think that we could finally address some of them. The list included some new furniture, a family vacation, saving for a "new" car, and starting up retirement accounts. About that time Rob and I had started reading a book entitled, A Quest For More by Paul David Tripp. The primary thrust of his book is that our lives were meant for so much more than fulfilling our personal desires. God intends to do great things in our lives. He has big plans to use us. And yet, too often we do not allow Him to do so because we are so focused on the temporal. Through prayer and the influence of this book, Rob and I decided that this money would be far more effective in trying to impact the life of one more child than could ever be accomplished through new furniture, cars, or vacations. And so, with those lessons in mind, I wrote a song entitled So Much More. Before we even had another child, I had already written and dedicated this song to them.

As some of you may be aware, our family has a small music ministry called Forever Be Sure. This past August we recorded another CD entitled Still You Satisfy. Well, after months of hard work and editing, we are pleased to announce that it is finally complete. Today marks the album drop for digital distribution. (You can find it at CD Baby and iTunes, if interested.) The physical discs are being printed and will be available by March 21. The track below is my sister, Heather, and I singing So Much More - one of 17 tracks on the new CD. While I wrote this song long before we knew anything about these triplets, I am amazed at how well it testifies to our journey. God had so much in mind for His chosen people, Israel, but all too often they forfeited those blessings because of their sin. Time and time again, God reminded them that if only they would turn to Him, He would do amazing things. I can almost hear God saying something similar to us today. "May your life not be less than what I know is best. Keep your hands lifted high seeking more." Based on Psalm 81, I trust this song will be a blessing to you.

"Open your mouth and I will fill it.... [I will] fill you with the finest of wheat, and with honey from the rock I [will] satisfy you."  (Psalm 81:10, 16)

 

26 weeks

I have now been in the hospital for 10 days and things are going well. Lab work and sonograms are being done often and vitals for both me and the babies are checked about 3-4 times each day. My blood pressure has been doing great since I was admitted (and the medications were doubled) and my blood work has all been normal. Praise the Lord! I have been reminded by many of the tremendous value of bed rest. I am also reminded daily of the tremendous value of prayer!

The regular sonograms are definitely a highlight each week. As I get to look at the babies, I am reminded of why I am here and going through all of this. Rob was even able to be at the Monday sonogram, which was extra special. All three babies still have their heads lined up in a row at the bottom. Drake and Keira angle straight up, while Taerik has now draped himself across the top of them. It is really cute to watch them all kick and wiggle. Drake and Keira's little bottoms are right up against each other and they just go back and forth kicking. The nurses can hardly believe all the movement. It's even hard to listen to their heart rates, as they just won't stay still long enough. At each appointment the babies are each graded on an 8 point scale - 2 points for amniotic fluid levels, 2 points for diaphragm activity, 2 points for arm and leg movement, and 2 points for full body movement. If even one baby fails, I will begin wearing the monitors again and delivery will need to be considered. So far, they have passed each test with flying colors.

On Monday morning, Rob and I also got a tour of the NICU. This was highly recommended by the hospital staff. It certainly did help us gain an understanding of what will likely be in our future. The parents of one little baby even gave permission for us to come and observe their newborn son, who was born at only 25 weeks and weighed only 1 lb., 3 oz. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about him. Such a precious little life with a long road ahead.  

Wednesday afternoon we had a little scare. When the nurse was checking the babies heartbeats, she noticed an abnormality with Drake. His heart sounded like it was skipping beats. She immediately called the doctor who ordered me down to "Labor and Delivery" for tests. I was initially told that I would only need to be monitored for one hour. Howeverr, 17 hours later and I was still hooked up to machines. It made for a nonexistent night's sleep. The doctors clearly detected a heart arrhythmia with Drake. His heart rate would be going along strong at 150 and then all of a sudden would drop to 80 and stay there temporarily. At least one episode lasted about 40 seconds, but most of them were much shorter. In the end, after reviewing the babies echocardiograms and doing additional blood tests, the doctors could not find any cause for this abnormality. I was told that in this case that is what they were hoping for. When the structure of the heart is OK and it does not seem that other factors are causing such stress, it is asssumed that this will simply correct itself at birth. The final decision was to now perform the sonograms 4 times each week and continue monitoring the blood work. We would appreciate your prayers for Drake and this heart issue! 

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness."  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

New mercies this past week -
* 23 visits (besides the regular visits of Rob, Griffen, & Rhys) to help the time go by more quickly
* The discovery of on-line shopping
* Girl scout cookies, blueberry scones from Panera, Reese's peanut butter cups, cozy blankets, fun socks, cherry blossom lotion, nail polish, good books, and flowers
* My 33rd birthday (It's definitely the year for 3's)
* Game Day with friends (and even a WIN)
* A fantastic husband who is somehow managing to find time to be with me despite his overwhelming load
* Two very special big brothers who love to come and visit "mommy's hotel" (They especially love the moving beds.)