Beta #2

This morning I went in for beta test #2. A healthy pregnancy should have hcg levels at least around 700. My results came back at 359. The doctor would like me to go back for a third test on Wednesday morning, but if that number doesn't rise drastically, then it would appear that my body will miscarry both babies very soon.

"It is the LORD. Let him do what seems good to him."

I Samuel 3:18

 

Thankful

The results are in --- we are officially pregnant again! At 10 days after transfer, the clinic hopes to see a beta hcg level close to 100. Due to the holidays, I was cleared to have mine at the 8 day, 18 hour mark. My numbers came back at 132. So, this is a really solid number that leaves us fairly confident that at least one more little Fuller will be joining us this summer sometime. I will go back Monday morning for test #2, followed several days later by an ultrasound. There are certainly fears - especially considering that much of this day has been spent travelling to Iowa with five children in a very small space. However, we can vividly remember holidays when we wondered if we would ever have any children at all, and so a house filled with them is certainly something for which we are THANKFUL.

***The triplets were napping in the car when we got this news, so after finally arriving at grandma's house and getting ready for bed, we decided to share the exciting news with them.

Babies On Board

Here we are, smiling on the outside. 

Here is how we are feeling on the inside.

I was quite literally shaking like a leaf....until I received my Valium, of course. So many emotions!!! As we sat waiting, along with a number of other couples awaiting transfers, we could sense the excitement in the air. We watched and listened as each one was called back. We watched as husbands tenderly attended to their wives and kissed them lovingly before being wheeled away. Then the nurse called for "Heidi Fuller" and my husband shouted out, "Say 'hi' to the kids for me, babe." A very touching moment indeed.

The procedure went smoothly, and so we would like to introduce you to the two newest members of our family. Aren't they cute?



These two were the only ones they thawed and they did so well during the thawing process, that the doctor could not ethically justify thawing any more. Baby on the left was graded 5AA (a perfect score) and baby on the right was graded 3AB (still quite good). We now just rest, wait, and pray. Our pregnancy blood test is scheduled for Wednesday, November 25, at which time we will find out if either of them survived.

With two embryo's still remaining frozen, our adoption journey is not yet complete. If this transfer does not end in pregnancy, we will likely head back in early 2016 for one final transfer. If God gives us a successful pregnancy this time, then we will likely begin this whole endeavor all over again in 2-3 years.

While this is not the outcome we were desiring, God is answering prayer. He is continuing to teach us how to pray. This past weekend, we listened to a message by John MacArthur on this very topic. Based on 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, this noted pastor outlined the pattern of Paul's prayers ---

1. That we might walk worthy of our calling.
2. That God would fulfill every good desire.
3. That we would have a powerful service for God.

"To this end, we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, 

and may fulfill every resolve for good, and every work of faith by his power, 

so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, 

according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus." 

And so, we continue to remember that His plans are not our plans! They are higher! (Isaiah 55:8-9) And we say "thank you" to those He has been using to accomplish His plans. 

Dr. Jeffrey Keenan, Carol Sommerfelt (embryologist), and Lynda McCollum (IVF nurse) 

Embryo Adoption 101

Our embryo transfer is only 4 days away. 4 DAYS AWAY!!! Here are the stats for all who have asked.....and even those who haven't.

1. Our embryo's are called 5 day blastocysts. (Basically, they are 5 days past fertilization.)
2. We do not know for sure how long they have been frozen, but our guess is around 3-5 years.
3. Each embryo has about a 70% chance of surviving the thawing process. 
4. They will slowly be thawed, one at a time, on the morning of our transfer, by our nationally renowned embryologist, Carol Sommerfelt.
5. She will then study and grade them carefully.
1. First, a number is given (1-6) that states their expansion status. (Still inside the shell to completely hatched.)
2. A letter grade (A-D) is given to the quality of the inner cell mass. Keep in mind, that these little lives are currently only about 100 cells. 
3. A letter grade (A-D) is given to the quality of the outer layer, which is becoming the placenta. 
4. A perfect grade would be AA and would have the highest chances of survival. Having said that, the NEDC will not even destroy a DD. While it is highly unlikely that these would survive, they will at least be given a chance. 
5. If I remember correctly, our triplets (2 embryos) were graded 5AA and 5AB.
6. It is very likely that at least two embryo's will be thawed.  
7. Based on the grades of the first two, the embryologist will determine if she will thaw any more. 
1. If the first two thawed embryo's receive A's and B's, she would be extremely hesitant to thaw any more. The ideal transfer situation is 2 healthy embryo's. 
2. If the first two receive lower grades OR if one or more do not survive the thaw, she would be more willing to thaw another. 
3. We have expressed our desires - that if even one does not survive the thaw, to please transfer the remaining three regardless of their grades - however, the final decision rests in the hands of the doctor and embryologist. 
8. Dr. Keenan and Carol will come and meet with us just minutes before the procedure to tell us the number and quality of the embryo's they will be transferring. 
9. The actual procedure takes only about 15 minutes and then I am asked to remain restful for about 24 hours. 
10. Then, we wait. A blood pregnancy test will be scheduled for about 10 days later. 
11. Our chances of a successful transfer resulting in a confirmed pregnancy are about 50%.  

Prayers are SO VERY MUCH appreciated! I have been thinking much about how I am even supposed to pray. After quite a few near panic attacks, I certainly need to pray! And yet, what do I pray? I do not need to pray for God's presence, as He has already promised that (Heb. 13:5). I do not need to pray for His provision, as He has also promised that (Phil. 4:19). So, you see, lately I have been praying that God would teach me how to pray. And here is what I have come up with so far. 

• COURAGE  - Courage to do what I know He has called our family to do. (Joshua 1:9)
• PEACE - A quiet mind that rests in God's sovereign control. (Isaiah 26:3)
• BELIEF - "I believe; help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24)
• TRUST - Trust in my inner core that God's ways are always higher than mine. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace."  

(Numbers 6:24-26)

So very secondary to these requests, I have come to believe that there is a place for my own desires in my prayers, as well. And so lastly, I simply state them to God. It is my desire that we would only have to go through this one final transfer, and not need to go through this whole process ever again. I desire that we only add one more child to our family, preferably a sister for Keira. I desire a normal, healthy pregnancy without any risks or complications. Those are my desires. And yet, I think back to a time when we were pleading with the Lord for any children at all and have to almost chuckle at where we are now. He has proven that He is worth trusting!